Dorothy, the Tin Man, the Wicked Witch of the West...and Toto!

Oh baby - you just L-O-V-E-D Halloween! So much more so than I ever thought you would this year. Here's the rundown: Saturday, I took you to the mall trick-or-treating. Big mistake. It was so crowded and you will learn over the years that your ma just doesn't do crowds well. You didn't quite get the candy-in-the-basket concept yet (although by Monday, you were completely a pro). So we mainly went on the merry-go-round. It was a short trip.

On Sunday, we all went to the Liberty Athletic Club for a Halloween party. Although you seemed to enjoy yourself and looking at all the kids, we think you were just a little young for most of the stuff. But all was not lost - we won first prize for our Wizard of Oz themed costumes. You were the cutest Dorothy there ever was and ever will be...complete with ruby red sparkly shoes.

And then today, actual Halloween, we went trick-or-treating on Main Street in downtown Ann Arbor with Auntie Lauren and cuzes Aaron and baby Ben. I think Aaron showed you the way with the trick-or-treating because by the second store, you were a pro. And you had a clear preference for anyone handing out KitKats...those are one of ma's favs too. Then Matt joined us for lunch and after lunch you had the experience of eating your first candy bar...a Kit Kat :-). I think you thoroughly enjoyed it. And ma thoroughly enjoyed watching you.

So that was our craziness. We even got some candy from Gari, your music teacher...also a KitKat. I think she would say that you enjoyed Halloween with "great gusto" - as you do with most things in life.

I knew it! Stashed eggs...

So we got our first two eggs at the beginning of this week...found them in the coop. We know that the time between eggs is usually about 25 hours. So after those first two eggs, we had no eggs for 3 days. We suspected something was up. Then yesterday, when I went to clean the coop, I discovered 6 eggs next to our wagon, behind the coop. Apparently, I freaked the chickens out when I took their eggs that first day so they started a "secret" nest. As a mother, can't say I blame them. We ate those first two, BTW. Yum!

Little Miss, tonight I took you to the mall for trick-or-treating. You actually really enjoy the mall - in fact, now, as we get on the highway, you say a very clear "mall". Part of the reason you like it is that there is this little merry-go-round that costs $1 and I usually bring $2 and treat you. Of course, we did that tonight and you loved it. But the trick-or-treating part? Not so much. You really didn't understand that it was ok to take the candy from those handing it out. Honestly, I didn't like it so much either. Sooo crowded. You'll learn - your ma is not the biggest fan of crowds. So we may skip it next year...no worries, you won't be missing much.

Tomorrow, your da comes home and we are carving the pumpkin and going to a Halloween party. You already painted a small pumpkin at your art table yesterday - it's all blue and very pretty, I must say. For almost two, you are quite the artist, Little Miss.

That's another thing you started today...when I ask you how old you are going to be, you say "Twoooo". You are currently obsessed with that number. So much so that I've considered ditching the Sesame Street theme and having "Twooo" be the theme to your party. How easy would that be? :-). Nah, I'll still probably do Sesame.

An egg! And other adventures...

Yes! Finally! Maybe my hens are fertile after all. Or at least they can produce eggs. DH found one when he was closing up the coop tonight. He brought it in while I was giving Little Miss a bath and brushing my teeth. I spit my toothbrush write into the sink and said "Get the f&#k out!" (Sorry Little Miss). It was every bit as exciting as I expected it to be.

Other adventures these days...your da and I took our first little trip by ourselves. To Cleveland. Who knows what Cleveland will be like when you eventually read this someday. We went there because we lived there back in 1998. It was a great trip and although I of course missed you, I also know that a little time away every now and again will help me be a better mother. We brought you back an airplane bath toy from the International Women's Air and Space Museum. Grandma and Gramps watched you and from what they say, you were an angel and had a wonderful time. They said you talked a lot and that it appears that you know that our last name is "Wall". Impressive.

Baby cheeks

So, we have had an enjoyable few days...soaking up sunshine and fall weather in preparation for the long winter. Yes, baby, in Michigan the winters are long and gray. No worries, though. We'll still play a lot in the snow...just bought you boots yesterday and will probably pick up your snowsuit today. I want to be prepared for that first snow fall - I think you'll be very excited by it this year.

So one interesting thing - As we've been playing at parks, running errands and swimming/playing at " the Club"(your daddy and I recently joined an athletic club in Ann Arbor. We've decided to refer to it as "the Club" in an attempt to feel richer than we really are)this past weekend, three people have said the following "Look at those cheeks!". And then two others said "So, is she about 14 months?". I think it is because you have such baby hair still. I haven't gotten it cut yet because I don't want to loose that cute little curl on the back of your neck. So if you want to know what others think of your looks right now, I'll sum it up in two words...baby cheeks. And I L-O-V-E them.

Eggs, please, for this stage ma

So I've chatted a lot about Little Miss, but what about the Four Hens part? They are about 5 months and 2 weeks old and still no eggs. Although most chicken literature says they will start producing between 5-6 months, I'm worried they will never produce eggs. In fact, I can't envision actually finding an egg they produce. Or if I do find one, I can only picture it being all messed up in some way. I often wonder how this lack of faith in their systems working correctly relates to my own infertility trauma. I imagine there is some connection. And so it goes...projecting our own experiences and expectations (or lack there of) onto others - including chickens.

On another note, I take you, Little Miss, to music class on Wednesday mornings. Today, a local journal, affiliated with the Crazy Wisdom Bookstore, came for a photo shoot of the class. Side note - Ann Arbor is a bit of a hippie place and this is a bit of a hippie journal...and, well, because your ma has chickens, she may be considered a hippie as well by some. You will probably either love or despise parts of Ann Arbor living. I just hope that in some way parts of it have a positive impact on your growth. So this photographer was there and I'll admit it - while the idea was that we were suppose to just interact how we normally do in the class, I was very conscious of this camera person and did my best to "help" her get some pretty cute shots of you. Yes, it's true, I hope you are the feature picture because, let's be honest - it's hard to match your cuteness.

While eating your snack of teddy grahams and juice at the long kids table (your favorite part of the whole experience, I may add), Gari, your teacher, came up to me and commented about how you seem to approach every new experience with great "gusto". I love that. It is probably the best description of you at this age that I've ever heard. I do truly admire your gusto.

Determination

Wow, baby cakes, what a weekend! You and I went to Grand Rapids visit your cousin, Liam and friends Becky, Ella, Abby, Macy and John. We played hard, went to an apple orchard, played on a playground and went to Meijer Garden and saw a huge bronze horse sculpture. I think you had a lot of fun. You seemed happy. You also seemed very independent and determined.

I know this independence and determination will serve you very well in life. However, I also hope that you learn to be a little dependent...just once in awhile. Ma doesn't have these skills, and frankly, it's exhausting. So keep that spunk Little Miss, but also know that it's ok to ask for help.

By the way, you currently call me "Ma".

Gingerbread House

About three Christmas's ago, I was shopping at Target and saw this wooden house with 25 little doors...places to put small little treasures for little hands to find. We had just failed our IUI a few weeks prior.

I picked it up. I held it. I carried it around the store while I daydreamed about putting it in a very special place in our house. I envisioned our beautiful child (yes, Little Miss, I knew you would be a beauty long before you were born) waking up with excitement and opening each little door to find a treat or trinket. I thought about what a fun tradition it would be - I have never been a big holiday fan and have put it on my list of "Things I don't want to pass down". I also thought about the day that you would talk about what a fun tradition it was.

And yet through all this daydreaming and debating, I couldn't bring myself to purchase it. I just couldn't be sure that there would ever be a child in our house. And I couldn't bring myself to take the risk.

And the next Christmas I saw these houses at Target again - only I didn't pick one up and daydream about. We had failed our first cycle of IVF that previous summer.

Today, while having a little mommy time, I saw one of these houses yet again - only this time I purchased it with little hesitation for you, Little Miss. I hope you enjoy it. I hope it becomes one of those traditions that you talk about when you are an adult. But if you don't like it or talk about it when you're older, it's okay. Purchasing it was as much for me as it was for you. It is a symbol of the fact that I no longer have to take the risk.

It was a happy day.